Thursday, October 19, 2006

Breathe in

Do you ever miss your old life. You know the one you had before you grew up. Some times I miss how easy it was to be me. The worst decisions I had to make was what to wear to school. Now I'm having to watch people I care about fuck up their lives. Now I'm not even a part of the group that I considered dear friends. Now everything is hard. I know it's not easy to grow up, but I've honestly got to wonder why it has to be so hard. It just seems like there has to be an easyier way that I haven't found. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm bitching. I'm not gonna lie, I've been drinking but I don't think that that makes my thoughts any less legitimate. I don't like the fact that half of my friends border on being drug addicts. They're not bad people, they just don't make the best decisions. I mean I've been there and I know how easy it is to give into a high...but still it makes me sad. And then some other people just seem so goddamn condesinding about anything that doesn't fit within their narrow scope of reality. It's like if you make your own decisions, and they happen to be outside the spectrum they think is acceptable then you're a bad person. Well you know what I have to say to that...FUCK YOU. At least I can think for myself, and I'm not govererned by what you think.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you seem more like your venting more than having concerns for whatever you are wanting, instead of tryin to understand other people, be yourself, and and assert your wants, instead of wallowing in whatever your stuck in, and as far as drug use goes, the use of drugs is a step in the persuit of a high that is not attainable. For if you attain it your over a line that makes you to fucked up. but the desire for a perfect feeling is a hard thing to let go. enjoy what you can, but save the expressing of your desires for your boyfriend.

Melissa said...

i think you might be making things harder than they have to be by who you surround yourself with. i'm not saying to abandon your friends, or even that they are bad, but their lives seem to be causing you a lot of stress. just something to think about.