Last night

Two nights ago my grandfather died, and I didn't know until yesterday around 10 pm. He had a brain tumor and parkinsons and just ended up going downhill really fast. I think I cried more last night than I've cried on any other night of my life.
I was lying next to drew and he was just letting me talk, and all I could think about was the time last year that Bobby (my granpa) and Granpat decided to redecorate the dining room. Instead of taking down the wallpaper Bobby decided to just to paint right over it. The funny thing was they were convinced that it looked wonderful, but it looked like shit, you could see the wall paper right through the paint and my grandma's strutting around like the next Martha Stewert.
Then I started thinking about how unfair it was that all of us that are missing Bobby were getting to lie next to the people we care about and cry, while my grandmother is the one that has to lay by herself every night until it's her turn to move on. I'm not sad for my granpa because I believe he's in a place now that's much less painful; it's my granma that I'm crying for because she's had to lose another husband, it's my little cousins that won't get to have a granpa to do magic tricks for them, it's for my dad who is inevitably going to have to pick up the pieces of this mess like he always does, and selfishly it's me because I'm going to miss him, because I remember being in their wedding, because there won't be anyone to take pictures now, and because I don't like dealing with deaths or almost deaths multiple times in a year.
So if you can pray for the people in my family or just send good vibes if you don't pray, I'd really appreciate it, and I'll send some good vibes back your way.