You said I'm crazy...

Well things have picked up a bit. Friday night was pretty good. Lucy+Michael+Colby+Jolty's+Fabiano's+Walmart+Mark+Waffle House+Playground-Drama= Very good night. Haha I can do math. It was fun getting to catch up, and tell explicit stories about Jolly Ranchers and herpes (you don't want to know), and in the end it made me feel better because the majority of the time I feel like I really don't have friends in D'ville. Then Saturday night was good cause Mark took me to the movies (The Pursuit of Happyness (and that is how they spelled happiness)) then we went and hung out with his friends at Fabiano's till about 1 in the morning. I found out that I'm addicted to the Fast and the Furious video game there. Then last night was coffee with Lucy, Melissa, and Colby. So all in all I've had a few good days with plenty of human interaction.
I figured out what was bumming me out about being home this morning; my parents are treating me like an adult. Not the good kind of adult either, you know going out whenever and not having to check in etc..., but the kind that gets put in the middle of fights, wraps all the xmass gifts, cleans the house, and goes grocery shopping. It was pissing me off, but now that I think about it I'm really glad that at least in a small way I'm helping my parents out, because I know that they've got a lot of shit going on. Hope things are going well for you.

No they'll never catch me now

Christmas break=boring. At least it does when you lack friends in the zip code you're in. Mark has pretty much been working 24/7 so I've spent some quality time with the family (aka I've cleaned the house alot) I went Christmas shopping and as usual got really pissed off. I hate the fact that Christmas equals pressure to buy gifts for the people you care about. I don't like the whole forced to say "I love you" through material items concept, I'd much rather just straight up say I love you to the people I care about and buy them something randomly in the year b/c I want to not because I have to. Due to lack of funds the xmas list got cut to only people I would have no problem saying I love you too, and do so on a regular basis. It just disgusts me to see people (and myself) scurring around buying random crap for people when most people don't even give a shit about the point of this holiday. At this point in time the best gift is that I'm alive and have people that love me, and honestly that's satisfying for me, and I really wished that that was enough for everybody. At least then our addiction to material items would lessen somewhat.
Other than anger towards the holidays (xmass carols must die) not a whole bunch has gone down. Kevin got his throat sliced and diced (tounsels removed) so currently we're all taking care of him. Maybe something will happen this weekend.

I've written pages upon pages trying to rid you from my bones

Good lord I love The Decemberists (hence the title.) I've finally found peace I think. I've spent the last year and a half searching, and hurting, and pretty much wallowing in self pity but I think last night I finally cracked it. I spent the night reading notes from high school, and year book stuff and I realized that the things holding my back have been my tendency to only remember the bad things in people in events. In truth even if I no longer talk to a person the majority of the memories I have with them are wonderful; it's just that for some reason it's easyier for me to remember the bad rather than the good. I'm not sure if I had a point I just felt the need to say that I think things are going to be better for me from here on out.
So last night Mark and I had a 6 year old's dream date. First we ate at The Varisty (which was awesome) then we decided to see if we could eat Krispy Kreme, or if it would kill us. Well luck was on our side because when we pulled into the one on Ponce the hot sign was on. Needless to say we got some doughnuts. After that we ended up rockin' the Scrabble at Jittery's with Woody, then catching a movie before turning in for the night. Rereading that it doesn't sound like the greatest date ever but I had a blast. It's always fun to do shit like. If you don't you should try it. Oh by the way Mark and I are embarking on a diet and work out plan...we'll see how this works.

Just a small town girl

Last week of the semester...what the hell. Where does time go as you get older? I'm sure everybody remembers how the year used to drag by when we were little and it never seemed like it would be summer again, and when it was finally summer it felt like summer lasted decades. When did life suddenly hit the fast forward button so that an entire semester goes by and I feel like it's only been a few weeks since I moved into my apartment? The funny thing is my memory even feels like it's been fast forwarded; I remember everything that I've done, but only in a blurry vague way. I guess this is really what people mean when they talk about life passing them by.
The last couple of days pretty fun, I went to a couple parties with Heather, and nothing remarkable happened, except for the moment when everyone in our vacinity broke out in "Fuck Her Gently." I love the moments in life where it feels like I'm in a movie. There's more that I want to say but articulating it would take a little too much energy. Peace out.