I want a lover I don't have to love

The last couple of weeks have been nuts. I don't think anybody that reads this doesn't know what happened but I'll be vague just in case. A very close friend of mine attempted to kill themselves a couple of weeks ago. During this time the two of us were fighting like bitches and on the night it happened I was a giant bitch to the person. The next day I get a phone call that this person had slit there wrists and was in the hospital. Long story short I spent the day at the hospital and following the cops to rehab on St.Simmons. The next week I went to visit this person with some of our friends, and thats were things get complicated feelings wise. In the midst of all this I meet this guy named drew. He's funny and sweet, plus he took me on a killer first date. Now I've got feelings for multiple people when I would rather have feelings for no one. I haven't coped yet with what happened to my friend and my own personal feelings of guilt, and the things that I did in the last week to fuck things up farther. I think I need to stop drinking...it's been 4 weeks.