Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Hopin for the best, just hopin nothing happens
So found out I was supposed to work on Sunday and Monday morning and I didn't. Blame = 50% me, 25% my manager, 25% bad luck. If I had been put on the schedule (like everyone else) I would have a fuckin clue when I'm supposed to work, however I should have called to find out so I'm willing to take the majority of the blame. So I've worked 15 hours in the last two days...not my definition of fun...but hey it's money right? Mark is moving back tomorrow so I'm really excited about that, and then my parents leave on friday so I get a break from realizing that I am in fact in Douglasville. I'm not totally sure how I feel about life right now...I would like a chance to get out of town and reflect but that's not going to happen. I know that I'm okay with 95% of how things are, but that 5% makes all the difference. I can't explain how I feel about my friend situation...the ones I have are great...and the ones I had are absent from my life. If I was back in Statesboro this wouldn't be a problem...actually it's not really a problem here...more of a nuisance. I don't know what I'm blathering on about so I'll stop and leave you with this. I'm not always the bad guy or scape goat.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Boys like you are overrated
So I have a lot to say and I'm not sure I'll say it all. First off...love. When the person that you love is leaving to go home, and you chest starts to hurt like a piece of your soul is being ripped away then you know that you're in love. I've NEVER felt like that before...and eventhough it really did kinda hurt I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything.
Second...graduation. So I went there last night...and honestly it might have been a mistake. It was nice to yell for all the kids I know...but then I started thinking about the things that have been said at the school about me. Mistake number one. Then that train of thought led to our graduation. Mistake number two. I began to think about catalysts, parties, decisions, fights, break-ups and awful words from the last year. Mistake number three. Everything changed the night we graduated (not just in the typical way...it really did signify the beginning of the end of everything that was stable and comfortable and my life and some of the people around me) It got to the point where I ducked out of the ceremony because honestly I couldn't take it. Then afterward I was talking to Coach Jackson and he said "I hear more about Georgia Southern then any other school." That might not seem significant to anyone that hasn't had Jackson, but he said it with that look that meant that there was deeper meaning behind the statement. I know what the meaning is. My immediate impulse was to walk over to some people and bitch...but I chose better. I just said that it's a little crazy down there but you can't believe half of what you hear...from anybody.
Third...stop it. All of you know who you are and just stop it. Don't wave it me like we're still friends when we're not. Don't say shit because I won't do the same. Just stop...it's starting to piss me off.
Second...graduation. So I went there last night...and honestly it might have been a mistake. It was nice to yell for all the kids I know...but then I started thinking about the things that have been said at the school about me. Mistake number one. Then that train of thought led to our graduation. Mistake number two. I began to think about catalysts, parties, decisions, fights, break-ups and awful words from the last year. Mistake number three. Everything changed the night we graduated (not just in the typical way...it really did signify the beginning of the end of everything that was stable and comfortable and my life and some of the people around me) It got to the point where I ducked out of the ceremony because honestly I couldn't take it. Then afterward I was talking to Coach Jackson and he said "I hear more about Georgia Southern then any other school." That might not seem significant to anyone that hasn't had Jackson, but he said it with that look that meant that there was deeper meaning behind the statement. I know what the meaning is. My immediate impulse was to walk over to some people and bitch...but I chose better. I just said that it's a little crazy down there but you can't believe half of what you hear...from anybody.
Third...stop it. All of you know who you are and just stop it. Don't wave it me like we're still friends when we're not. Don't say shit because I won't do the same. Just stop...it's starting to piss me off.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Love
Well she was an American girlRaised on promisesShe couldn't help thinkin that thereWas a little more to lifeSomewhere elseAfter all it was a great big worldWith lots of places to run toYeah, an d if she had to dieTryin' she had one little promise
Alright so the other job didn't work out...so it's just the one at the pet store. But hey it's a job. Other than that not much to report. We saw a guy smoking in the middle of the mall today, and I saw a kid eat a waffle out of the trash can at Waffle House.
Alright so the other job didn't work out...so it's just the one at the pet store. But hey it's a job. Other than that not much to report. We saw a guy smoking in the middle of the mall today, and I saw a kid eat a waffle out of the trash can at Waffle House.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
Lord have mercy for what we done
It's difficult to decide what to write in this thing. The probability is that very few peopel will ever read this, so does it really matter what I write?
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I really do have no clue where I want to go in life. I really want to take spring semester off, but if my parents help me pay for school/rent then I won't be able to. I want to find a job that pays more than $5.15 an hour so I don't have to get a second job, but that looks like a negative. I want to buy some new cd's but I'm completely broke. I need to get out of this town...at least for a little bit. I don't hate Douglasville, but the fact is it sucks to be disliked or treated like a stranger in the place you grew up. I have to actively avoid going some places because of people immaturity (I know that I also caused a good bit of it but for once in my life I just feel like getting to bitch) and I don't really have that many people left in this town. I probably would have been better off staying in Statesboro like I planned, but I came back. My family is being pretty great...or maybe they were always great and I, like most people, was to selfish and self-centered to notice. They all have their shortcommings but for the most part they've helped me alot so far this summer. Mark is wonderful of course, and it sucks that he's stuck in Cedartown, but we could have it alot worse. At least we get to see each other a good bit, but I want our Sunday mornings back, where we just lay in bed and listen to The Velvet Undergrounds Sunday Morning...waking up alone sucks. This summer is going to be hard...I've known that for a while...but Statesboro is just around the corner.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I really do have no clue where I want to go in life. I really want to take spring semester off, but if my parents help me pay for school/rent then I won't be able to. I want to find a job that pays more than $5.15 an hour so I don't have to get a second job, but that looks like a negative. I want to buy some new cd's but I'm completely broke. I need to get out of this town...at least for a little bit. I don't hate Douglasville, but the fact is it sucks to be disliked or treated like a stranger in the place you grew up. I have to actively avoid going some places because of people immaturity (I know that I also caused a good bit of it but for once in my life I just feel like getting to bitch) and I don't really have that many people left in this town. I probably would have been better off staying in Statesboro like I planned, but I came back. My family is being pretty great...or maybe they were always great and I, like most people, was to selfish and self-centered to notice. They all have their shortcommings but for the most part they've helped me alot so far this summer. Mark is wonderful of course, and it sucks that he's stuck in Cedartown, but we could have it alot worse. At least we get to see each other a good bit, but I want our Sunday mornings back, where we just lay in bed and listen to The Velvet Undergrounds Sunday Morning...waking up alone sucks. This summer is going to be hard...I've known that for a while...but Statesboro is just around the corner.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Stars forgive me...why can't you just forgive/forget me?
Today was quite wonderful. Bra shopping with Mom started the day...woohoo...then I headed up to Ceader Town. It was very nice to be alone with Mark..it was almost like being back in Statesboro. We went to a cemetary and looked around which was very fun and then got some dinner at Sonic and just chilled and watched movies. I got some coffee with Micheal at Waffle house (my faveorite coffee in the world.) Other than that life has been the same as it always is. I've been a bit more philosphical than usual...but thinking is a good things...or atleast I think so. I'm gonna go now...one day I'll post something cool. I wish I could go to Bonaroo but I don't have the money...that really sucks. Later.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
A new beginning
Yeah so fuck xanga...haha. Tonight=lots of fun even though I thought it would suck. Had a funny conversation...I don't think the other person saw the humour. Tomorrow me and Mark are going to a picnic with my mom's kids...I can't wait. I'm also going to visit Chompers at the vet's because he's doing better. Chillin with Melissa, Lucy and Mike last night was oddles of fun...it's nice to see your friends after you've been away for a long time. Other than that nothing of interest to report...I'll let you know if something cool happens.
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